Nov 16
I was at a stoplight earlier this week thinking about a conversation I had completed earlier in the evening. Here’s the insight that came to me: Responsibility is a choice not an obligation. Guilt doesn’t exist either way.
Let me know if you think it’s true.
Peace!
Ken
Tags: Insight
My experience supports the observation that responsibility is a choice. I encounter others who choose not to be able to respond - or not be responsible - including myself, at various times, and in various ways, regarding various circumstances in our lives.
However, guilt exists and is healthy. It’s shame that I find destructive. I experence guilt as a consequence of realizing that I made a mastake, and especially so when someone or myself was harmed. Guilt is the emotion generated when I have the thought “I did something bad”‘ shame is the emotion generated when I have the thought “I am bad.” So perhaps it’s Shame that does not exist. Or ought not to in a world where we take responsibility and change our thoughts, and thus change our feelings.
Interesting insights Kate - thanks for sharing! What an interesting exchange of ideas.
I was thinking that guilt is a function of not taking responsibility (e.g., I feel guilt because I did something bad … so I feel bad about the thing I did) - and since responsibility is a choice - there’s no room for guilt. Either one takes responsibility for the mistake (no guilt - I did the bad thing ) or one doesn’t (no guilt).
From a healing perspective, I was thinking that responsibility doesn’t mean that I don’t want to change - just the opposite - if I did something bad and I take responsibility - that’s the first step towards change (not making the mistake again - or doing something harmful to another). In this situation I’m having a hard time understand the value of guilt (not that I don’t feel it
- just curious about the value).
I would love your further thoughts - as well as those of anyone else reading!
Peace,
Ken